The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
