Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Less talking, more tequila
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
