go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
