I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
