I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
