She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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