It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize