so that wasnt chicken after all
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
