Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
