If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize