i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
