The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
