We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
