Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
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