Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
