it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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