around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
