google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
