Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
