would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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