It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I could fuck to npr.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
