Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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