So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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