I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
