You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
