What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize