PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
