If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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