I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It's blow job season.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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