Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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