Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
