he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
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You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
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And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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