my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
