i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We need to get me chipped asap
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
