Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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