i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Randomize
