the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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