I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
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Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
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if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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