This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
