I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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