So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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