Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
