have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
