Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I still have a little drunk in my system
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
