I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He? As in you personified your dick?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
as a side note pls kill me
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
