Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
