dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
