My boss' voice literally gives me gas
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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