thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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