My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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