I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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