She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
