Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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