mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
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