Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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