The best revenge is premature balding
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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