I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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