My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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